琪鹿

胡乱翻译，离开严厉的专业课老师多年，已是十分荒废。我随便翻译翻译，大家随便娱乐娱乐。近期不收快递，家里没有水表。楼诚明撕暗秀出没，单身汪小心。

（一） 明氏三兄弟祖传RAP

原台词：

楼：你干什么？

台：我还想问你干什么呢！？

诚：你疯啦！？

楼：你想干什么？

台：我要答案！

楼：你不是已经有答案了吗？你敢拿枪对着我，你敢开枪吗？

台：你以为我不敢开枪吗！？

诚：你把枪放下！

台：我为什么要放下！？

楼：你先把枪放下！

诚：他放我就放！

台：我不放你敢开枪吗？

诚：你怎么知道我不敢！？

楼：把枪放下！

诚：让他先放！

楼：你以为他敢开枪吗？

台：你怎么知道我不敢开枪！？

英文翻译版：

Ming Lou: What are you doing?

Ming Tai: I want to ask you this question again.

Ming Cheng: Are you crazy!?

Ming Lou: What do you want to do?

Ming Tai: I need a reply!

Ming Lou: You already have had this reply. You hold your gun to me; do you have the courage to shoot to me?

Ming Tai: You think I can’t !?

Ming Cheng: Put down your gun ! 

Ming Tai: Why should I do that !?

Ming Lou: You put first !

Ming Cheng: He puts, I put !

Ming Tai: Will you shoot to me if I don’t do that ?

Ming Cheng: How can you know I will not !?

Ming Lou: Put down your gun right now!

Ming Cheng: He puts it first !

Ming Lou: Do you think he will shoot to me?

Ming Tai: How do you know I will not !?

（二） 长兄如夫（我是真的翻译成了长兄如夫）

原台词：

 

南田洋子：明先生，我想跟你讨论一下，你的私人助理阿诚。

明楼：他有什么问题吗？

南田洋子：他很优秀，我看了他的简历，我很欣赏他。如果明先生想要给阿诚在新政府找一个合适的职位，我可以帮忙。

明楼：不用。

南田洋子：一句话而已。

明楼：我说不用！阿诚十岁就来到我明家，喝明家的水吃明家的饭在明家长大，长兄如父，在明家，我还是说了算的。而南田课长如果想用我明家人，起码得我同意了才行吧？

南田洋子：是我冒昧了。

明楼：南田课长是聪明人。

英文翻译版：

Yko Minamida: Mr. Ming, I want to have a discussion with you about your personal assistant,Mr. Cheng.

Ming Lou: What’s wrong with him?

Yko Minamida: He is best, I have read his resume, I admire him very much. If you want to find a suitable position for him in the government, I will help you.

Ming Lou: NO.

Yko Minamida:Just a word.

Ming Lou: I said NO! Cheng came to my family when he was only 10 years old, he drank and ate in my family and grew up here, an elder brother like me just like a husband to him, I am the leader in my family. How can you employ him if I don’t agree?

Yko Minamida:I am sorry.

Ming Lou: I think Miss Minamida is a smart lady.

（三）明镜汪曼春姑嫂撕逼大战

原台词：

明镜（对明楼）：你回上海多久了？

明楼：一个多……

汪曼春：你凭什么打人！？

明镜：我在管教自己的亲弟弟，碍着你汪大小姐什么事了。你是我们明家的什么人哪？

汪曼春：您要管教您的亲弟弟，您回家管教去。你跑到这里来是什么意思？我知道，你是想借着我师哥打我叔父的脸。可是您别忘了，今天是我们汪家请客，不是您明家做东！

明镜：说得好汪小姐，承教了，我是要回家去管教他的，谢谢你的提醒。（对明楼）你都听见了？

明楼：听见了。

明镜：我告诉你，今天晚上你要是不回去，明天早上就不用再姓明了，你改姓汪吧！

明楼：明楼不敢。

明镜：那就好。

汪曼春：师哥你不能回去！

明镜：汪小姐，我想给你一个忠告——过去的事情，你还是忘了的好。你只不过是我家明楼翻过的一本书罢了，当然，也许他兴趣来了，还会再翻上一遍。但是我向你保证，只要我明镜活着，你这本书，休想落到他的床头上！

汪曼春：您可别把话说绝了，天有不测风云，人有旦夕……

明楼：汪曼春！

明镜：你终于把话说明白了，我也告诉你汪曼春，我明镜今天要是有个三长两短，你以为明楼能让你活得过明天吗！？我们家明楼是什么样的人，我最清楚。

英文翻译版：

Ming Jing (To Ming Lou): How long since you came back to Shanghai?

Ming Lou: More than a ……

Wang Man chun: Why did you hit him!?

Ming Jing: I’m decupling the brother of mine; pass you what matter,Miss Wang? Who are you?

Wang Man chun: Could you please disciple your younger brotherafter backing home? What’s mean you do like that in front of us? I know youwant to make my uncle embarrassed from that way. But don’t forget, today is his treat, not you!

Ming Jing: It’s a wonderful opinion, Miss Wang, I remember. Certainly I will talk with him when he gets home. (To Ming Lou) Did you hear it?

Ming Lou: Of course I was.

Ming Jing: Listen, if you don’t go home tonight, you can change your family name as Wang.

Ming Lou: I swear I will not.

Ming Jing: That’s wisely.

Wang Man chun: You can’t follow her, brother!

Ming Jing: Here is an advice for you, Miss Wang. I hope you'd better forget the old things happened in old time. A girl like you, just like a book which my younger brother had read. Well, if he wants, it is sure that he can read it again. But I promise you, you can’t be his wife until I die!

Wang Man chun: You don't putthe words absolutely; it is the unforeseen that always have……

Ming Lou (To Wang Man chun): Shut up!

Ming Jing: That’s what you already wanted to say, right? Listen carefully Miss Wang, do you think Ming Lou will keep you alive until tomorrow if you hurt me today? I’m the only person who knows Ming Lou best in this world!

（四） 楼诚明撕暗秀系列第一季——我就是个仆人嘛！

原台词：

明楼：进来。

明诚：大哥，阿香说你找我？

明楼：噢，是这样……坐。是这样的，桂姨啊，这两年给大姐写了很多信，说是在乡下实在过不下去了，所以想回来……回来投靠你……

明诚：哼，我是她什么人啊？是，她当年是收养了我，但她也差点把我折磨死你不知道吗？我能活到现在已经是万幸了！

明楼：阿诚……她以前的确做了很多错事，但是现在想回来弥补……

明诚：我不想再提这个人！我不想听到关于她的任何事情！我跟她一点关系都没有！如果真的要说有关系，那就是她20年前，曾经想要虐杀我。这样一个冷血的人，虽然她当年逃避了法律的制裁，但她逃避不了她当年所犯下的罪！

明楼：阿诚你别激动……

明诚：我能不激动吗！？你们叫她回来有没有问过我，有没有考虑我的感受！？当然，你们也不用考虑我的感受，在这个家里，我就是个仆人嘛！

明楼：你怎么说话呢？谁拿你当仆人了？答应桂姨回来这件事，是我跟大姐做的不妥，本来我们也是想跟你商量一下的，但谁想到她今天晚上回来了？这样吧，我会跟大姐说的，你放心，我们一定尊重你的意见。

明诚：说实话，我今天看到她一点感觉都没有。我发现我没以前那么恨她了，很陌生。我对这个人没什么可说的，如果真的要说的话，我只有一句话——好走不送。大哥晚安！

英文翻译版：

Ming Lou: Come in.

 

Ming Cheng: Did you find me, brother?

 

Ming Lou: Yeah. It’s……Sit down first……As you can see, your adoptive mother has been writing many letters to our elder sister. She said that her life in the countryside is too hard, so……she wants to come back here to live with you……

 

Ming Cheng: What? What’s the relationship of us? It’s true that she adopted me in old years, but don’t you know she almost killed me? How luckily I can alive until now!

 

Ming Lou: Cheng……Exactly she has done a lot of bad things to you, but she wants to do something for you to offset.

 

Ming Cheng: I don’t want to hear this name or know anything about her anymore! Ihave no relationships with her! If we have, it is just mean she wanted to kill me cruelly 20 years ago. A cruel people like her, although she escaped the judgment of the law, but she can’t escape the crimes!

  

Ming Lou: Here, here……

 

Ming Cheng: How can I calm down!? Did you ask for my opinion or consider my feelings before invited her to come back!? Certainly, you can ignore my feelings completely,because I am just a servant in this family!

 

Ming Lou: Why did you say that? Who treat you like a servant in this family? It is our fault to invite her to come home, we plan to discuss with you these days,but who can expect she comes back by herself tonight? Well, I will communicate with our elder sister about your opinion. Trust me, we will follow your thought to solve this thing.  

 

Ming Cheng: To tell you the truth, I had no feelings when I saw her again today. I realized that I did not hate her like the time when I was young; she is so strange to me. I have nothing to say about her, if I must say something, just a word—— leave safely and quickly. Good night, my brother!

（五） 楼诚明撕暗秀系列第二季——书房讨薪大战（明长官您也是无比脸大）

原台词：

明诚：我每次一跟你提加薪你就跟我发脾气，你见过一个干了这么多年的高级文秘一直不加薪的吗？政府办公厅发的那点工资，我去一趟俱乐部斗不够。我每天多少应酬啊，迎来送往的，都是为你的工作铺路啊，你拿过一分钱吗？

明楼：你这是想跟我算账啊？你是谁家养大的你跟我算账！？

明诚：那是不是你们家把我养大了，我就得白伺候你一辈子啊？

明楼：你伺候的人不是我！你想要加薪，去办公厅人事处，自己说去！

明诚：那还不是你一句话的事……行，你不肯加薪是吧，那你借我钱总可以吧？

明楼：滚，滚出去！滚出去！！现在就滚！！！

英文翻译版：

Ming Cheng: You always angry with me when I talk with you about raising my salary every time. Have you ever seen a senior secretary like me can’t raise his or her salary after working so many years later? The salary from the government is not enough to offer my consumption in the club at all. In order to crate some convenient for your daily work, do you know how many parties I should go every day? Did you give any money to me until now?   

 

Ming Lou: Thant looks like you want to account with me now? How can you account the returning you should give me for the grateful of I have adopted you so many years!?

 

Ming Cheng: You mean that I should nurse you without returning in your lifetime because you have adopted me?

 

Ming Lou: Of course you are! If you want to raise your salary, to the government office and talk with them by yourself!

 

Ming Cheng: That’s a piece of cake for you……All right, either you raise my salary, or you borrow some money for me.

 

Ming Lou: Get out! Get out!! Get out of here right now!!!